She
wondered how long it would take her kids to notice the gifts under
the tree. They are older now and not so inclined to get excited about
Christmas. She guessed she wasn't as excited about it herself. The
tree was white with blue decorations. A request from her daughter.
The tree looked great. Her son did nothing but grumble about having
to have decorations at all. She just couldn't win.
Her
son was away for college more often than not and that was quite
alright with her as he had a tendency to be incredibly negative and
grumpy most of the time. Some days it would be better for her if he
wasn't at the house.
Trying
to find a way to be positive with that much negativity going around
makes it very draining on her. He daughter didn't help much either.
She seemed to be either grouchy or bitchy and some times both. I've
heard that's normal for a 15 year old these days. Had she down or
said half what her daughter has when she was growing up, she'd have
been backhanded and paddled. Now it is the normal for the kids to act
this way? Something doesn't seem right with that picture.
She
sat near the Christmas tree thinking back over the years and how when
the kids were younger they seemed to appreciate her more. They didn't
really say it when they were younger but they showed it. Now it
seemed like sometimes the best of intentions went unnoticed by her
kids. They didn't appreciate anything she did. Honestly, it seemed
they felt they were obligated to get whatever I gave them and then
some.
It
was very frustrating for her. Her heart would cry silently tonight,
like every night, after hearing her son complain about everything and
her daughter giving her attitude with a magnitude of a 7.0 on a
Richter scale.
Her
only wish this Christmas was that they would know how much she loves
them and that she is sorry she hasn't been the best mother in the
world but she's done what she can with what she's had. She may not
have always made the best choices but she always tried to fix them
and think of her kids. It wasn't always easy. So many times she just
wanted to walk away and not look back it got so bad. But she loved
them and she stayed to be put through more torment.
Love
will make you do crazy things some times. Like stick around and keep
trying no matter what life throws at you.
Sometimes
the best of intentions often go unnoticed. Pay attention today and
appreciate even the smallest thing that someone does for you. It
could mean the difference between going to bed wanting to die and
going to bed excited for a new day to come.
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